Socrates

So I'm nerdily obsessed with Socrates. What did you expect from a girl who takes Ancient Greek? Most people hear Socrates and they think "Oh yeah that Greek philosopher dude who said wise things," and picture him as a Buddha or Jesus sort of person, who fasted and abstained from fun things.

Socrates actually looked like this:






So yeah he looks kind of pissed off at the world. But rightly so as he was made to commit suicide for corrupting the youths of Athens. For me, though, Socrates is such a glamorous figure,  solely because of his lack of glamour. I mean he gave ZERO fucks about anything. He would just tramp through the market-place of Athens muttering rude things about all the shining democracy everywhere. He didn't wear shoes. No shoes for Socrates. He went everywhere bare-foot and didn't wash or change his clothes. See that's how we know he was a genius. He uses his mind in practical everyday things, like saving water. Socrates helped stop global warming before it was even a problem!

And he wasn't ashamed of it either! I mean he didn't walk, he strutted. Socrates was described as having a "swagger so intimidating that enemy soldiers kept their distance." Pause to allow me to fan-girl.

So Socrates is having a good time swaggering around Athens without shoes and annoying people by asking them constant questions. He's also busy praising Sparta, Athens' arch-enemy. So eventually the Athenians come down pretty hard on Socrates and he's taken to trial for corrupting the minds of the Athenian youths. When asked what he thinks his punishment should be, he replies that he should be given a wage paid by the government and free dinners for the rest of his life for opening the minds of the young men of Athens.

When put to the vote, more people voted that Socrates should get the death sentence than people who voted that he was actually guilty. That's right. Some Athenians thought he was guilty, but wanted to kill him anyway. That's just how annoying he was.



And look at that! His death scene! Even while taking the cup of hemlock that will kill him, is he giving the Athenians weeping over his death the middle finger? I like to believe he is.

How To Get Over Someone

Aaah unrequited love. Nothing sucks more than having feelings for someone and knowing they don't feel the same way. However the paradox of trying to get over someone is the more energy you put into trying not to care, the more you think about them, and the more it's still all about them.

So I've made it my mission to be COMPLETELY over this person (let's call him Kevin) by Halloween. Yeah I know, I'm ambitious, but I like challenges, and I'm sick of him constantly stomping on my self-esteem. Once you have a goal, you will feel empowered. So telling my friend about this (we call it project gondola) we decided to have a sleepover and attempt to get over the respective objects of our affection. And both being people who like to tick things off , we made a simple list.

1. Write down a list of everything you hate about them - This is good. It will undoubtedly drive you into a righteous frenzy and realize all the many ways this person is an inadequate human being. For bonus points, print off pictures of you two together and burn them. Print off their Facebook profile picture and set that on fire too. This may sound a little pyromaniac-y, (let's be honest here, it's a lot pyromaniac-y) but oh-my-sweet-baby-Jesus it's satisfying. When you do it you will completely understand why people do it in movies. On a slight tangent, when Katie and I (my similarily heart-broken friend) were heading outside to make her bonfire, her mum called "what are you two doing?" And Katie yelled back "We're burning things mum." Her dad replied "Is this symbolic? Ok, then go on ahead." Why are these not my parents?

2. Stalk them on Facebook - ONE LAST TIME. Go through all their photos. Mock the ugly ones (but don't post mocking comments - that's just mean.)

3. Do the things they hate - Kevin liked girls with their hair down, he was obsessed with orange juice, and didn't drink. Therefore I tied my hair up in a ridiculously tight ponytail and drank several orange juice and vodka shots. Leading to number 4...

4. Get drunk - this is optional. As everyone knows, vodka mixes well with everything - except good decisions. But if you're with people you know will take care of, feel free to let the dogs out. Unless you're an emotional drunk. That's not gonna end well .

5. Go lingerie shopping - This is just fun. Just think Ha! Kevin's never gonna see this! He's so stupid! Congratulations parents, for making a sexy beast!

6. Have an orgasm - Aaah, the most fun thing on this list. Katie and I didn't actually do this together (cause lets face it, that would be a whole new realm of weird) but it definitely belongs on your list. You can have fun without that scumbag! Right?

Songs :
1. Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
2. Roar - Katy Perry
3. Tonight I'm Getting Over You - Carly Rae Jepsen
4. Smile  - Lily Allen
5. Forget You - Cee Lo Green
6. Irreplaceable - Beyonce

Public Transport

If you live in or around London and have not experienced at least one of these things, you lead a charmed life. Or never leave your house.

1. You catch the bus then realize you have no Oyster card - Now for you American people who don't know what an Oyster is, it's a magical card used for transportation purposes that you can top-up with money. You don't need one until you're 11. So naturally I've spent most of my life pretending to be 11. Due to my shortness and baby-face this worked every time I forgot my Oyster until I was 15. The only upside to having a baby-face.
2. You make awkward eye-contact with someone on the train - I mean you're sitting there directly opposite these random people, and most of them are reading, so it's fine. But then you catch the eye of this old man with a mustache, and because you're an inherently awkward person, you immediately blush and stare at your shoes for the remainder of the journey, causing you to almost miss your stop. Or maybe that's just me.
3. Caught a night bus - the first time I did this was last summer, and it was THRILLING. The later it is, the weirder the people you meet get. The people on the bus will always be either drunk or asleep.
4. Just made it into a train in time - This never fails to make me feel like a ninja. I was running late for work experience, charging down the stairs and literally flew into the train at the exact same time as the metal jaws of the train slammed shut. I just crouched there, breathing heavily, and then texted everyone I knew. That's how proud of myself I was.
5. Spelt 'public transport' pubic transport - Inevitable. I also once told my biology teacher all about living orgasms.

AttemptToMakeMyHairCurly #1

So last night I went to sleep with my hair in curlers. And this happened.

On the one hand, as a sufferer of flat-hair-disorder. I like it. On the other hand I kind of look like Hermione Granger.

Which is never a bad thing.

Crush

So yeah, the fishbone's still there and I'm procrastinating. I feel newly committed to this blog, but like everything else in my life, from my self-esteem to the amount of sleep I get, that will probably wildly oscillate.
So as I am currently with crush, I decided to make a list of things you do when you have a crush. Maybe some of these are just me, but maybe you, stranger, share some of them.

1. Stalk their facebook - relentlessly.
2. Conduct imaginary conversations/scenarios with them in your head - the things I wish would happen, or wish I could tell you
3. Want to know what they're doing - seriously. I want to know what you're wearing, what you ate for breakfast, who you last saw, whether you spend any time thinking about me... Don't get a big head - you're just utterly absorbing to me as a person or whatever.
4. Remember the clothes they wear - so that one time you smiled at me you were wearing a red t-shirt and that time we had a grass fight you that short-sleeved blue one on. Probably sticks in my head because 90% of the time I'm not with you I'm squinting around for that colour to try locate your sorry ass.
5. Overanalyse - seriously every single time you touch me I'm all "WAS THAT AN ACCIDENT? OR WAS THAT ON PURPOSE? DO YOU LIIIIIKE ME? ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE ME WITH YOUR ELBOW MAGIC? OR ARE YOU JUST TORTURING ME? OR WERE YOU ACTUALLY JUST TRYING TO EAT YOUR DAMN BURGER?"

Sometimes I feel superior to the world. Then I remember all these things.

This Blog

So this blog is about my life. It's supposed to be writing practice as I do in fact want to be a writer one day, but don't in fact have much time on my hands. So hopefully this will encourage me tow rite a little bit every day.
I'm a newly 16 year old half British middle child, and if that doesn't sound angsty enough, I have wildly oscillating self-esteem and trip a lot, even though I have pretty manly feet. Some aspects of my life are pretty normal - I'll probably be talking about music and the internet and normal teenage girly things. But I also tend to go very deep sometimes, so be prepared for that.
I also currently have a fishbone lodged in my throat. It's quite painful.

FavouriteSongsThis Week #1

I would make a list of all my favourite songs, but they really change weekly, so I may as well just record them here.

1. Cherry Lips - Loon Lake
a) Favourite line - "He calls you by your last name but he thinks that it's your first"
b) I listened to this song non-stop on the coach to a cross-country race on a friend's iPod and now whenever I listen to it I feel like I'm in a bus filled with 11 year old girls again.

2. Alone Together - Fall Out Boy
a) Favourite line - "My heart is like a stallion, they love it more when it's broken"
b) I heard it first on Dan and Phil's Radio One show and immediately grabbed a pen and wrote the song name down on my Ancient Greek homework. It feels beautifully desperate.

3. Autumn Leaves - Ed Sheeran
a) Favourite line - "Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?"
b) Because I've listened to Ed's album + so many times (there may or may not be a poster of him blu-tacked above my bed... just sayin') my favourite song from it oscillates depending on my mood. This is my favourite for the past few weeks - maybe I'm getting into the Autumnal spirit.

4. The Fox - Yvis
a) Asking me to pick my favourite line is like asking a mother to pick which child to kill and eat.
b) Because I'm so hipster I actually heard this song before it became viral, but that's just because I'm friends with a pair of identical twins who spend way too much time on Youtube.

5. Sex - the 1975
a) Favourite line(s) - "She said use your hands and my spare time/ We've got one thing in common it's this tongue of mine"
b) Again, heard it on the radio and ran to search it up. Kids, it is always a mistake to search "sex" up on Youtube, unless you are indeed looking for porn. In which case always delete your history.