Socrates actually looked like this:
So yeah he looks kind of pissed off at the world. But rightly so as he was made to commit suicide for corrupting the youths of Athens. For me, though, Socrates is such a glamorous figure, solely because of his lack of glamour. I mean he gave ZERO fucks about anything. He would just tramp through the market-place of Athens muttering rude things about all the shining democracy everywhere. He didn't wear shoes. No shoes for Socrates. He went everywhere bare-foot and didn't wash or change his clothes. See that's how we know he was a genius. He uses his mind in practical everyday things, like saving water. Socrates helped stop global warming before it was even a problem!
And he wasn't ashamed of it either! I mean he didn't walk, he strutted. Socrates was described as having a "swagger so intimidating that enemy soldiers kept their distance." Pause to allow me to fan-girl.
So Socrates is having a good time swaggering around Athens without shoes and annoying people by asking them constant questions. He's also busy praising Sparta, Athens' arch-enemy. So eventually the Athenians come down pretty hard on Socrates and he's taken to trial for corrupting the minds of the Athenian youths. When asked what he thinks his punishment should be, he replies that he should be given a wage paid by the government and free dinners for the rest of his life for opening the minds of the young men of Athens.
When put to the vote, more people voted that Socrates should get the death sentence than people who voted that he was actually guilty. That's right. Some Athenians thought he was guilty, but wanted to kill him anyway. That's just how annoying he was.
And look at that! His death scene! Even while taking the cup of hemlock that will kill him, is he giving the Athenians weeping over his death the middle finger? I like to believe he is.
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