Aaah unrequited love. Nothing sucks more than having feelings for someone and knowing they don't feel the same way. However the paradox of trying to get over someone is the more energy you put into trying not to care, the more you think about them, and the more it's still all about them.
So I've made it my mission to be COMPLETELY over this person (let's call him Kevin) by Halloween. Yeah I know, I'm ambitious, but I like challenges, and I'm sick of him constantly stomping on my self-esteem. Once you have a goal, you will feel empowered. So telling my friend about this (we call it project gondola) we decided to have a sleepover and attempt to get over the respective objects of our affection. And both being people who like to tick things off , we made a simple list.
1. Write down a list of everything you hate about them - This is good. It will undoubtedly drive you into a righteous frenzy and realize all the many ways this person is an inadequate human being. For bonus points, print off pictures of you two together and burn them. Print off their Facebook profile picture and set that on fire too. This may sound a little pyromaniac-y, (let's be honest here, it's a lot pyromaniac-y) but oh-my-sweet-baby-Jesus it's satisfying. When you do it you will completely understand why people do it in movies. On a slight tangent, when Katie and I (my similarily heart-broken friend) were heading outside to make her bonfire, her mum called "what are you two doing?" And Katie yelled back "We're burning things mum." Her dad replied "Is this symbolic? Ok, then go on ahead." Why are these not my parents?
2. Stalk them on Facebook - ONE LAST TIME. Go through all their photos. Mock the ugly ones (but don't post mocking comments - that's just mean.)
3. Do the things they hate - Kevin liked girls with their hair down, he was obsessed with orange juice, and didn't drink. Therefore I tied my hair up in a ridiculously tight ponytail and drank several orange juice and vodka shots. Leading to number 4...
4. Get drunk - this is optional. As everyone knows, vodka mixes well with everything - except good decisions. But if you're with people you know will take care of, feel free to let the dogs out. Unless you're an emotional drunk. That's not gonna end well .
5. Go lingerie shopping - This is just fun. Just think Ha! Kevin's never gonna see this! He's so stupid! Congratulations parents, for making a sexy beast!
6. Have an orgasm - Aaah, the most fun thing on this list. Katie and I didn't actually do this together (cause lets face it, that would be a whole new realm of weird) but it definitely belongs on your list. You can have fun without that scumbag! Right?
Songs :
1. Stronger - Kelly Clarkson
2. Roar - Katy Perry
3. Tonight I'm Getting Over You - Carly Rae Jepsen
4. Smile - Lily Allen
5. Forget You - Cee Lo Green
6. Irreplaceable - Beyonce
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